I hosed myself when I received the press release for next year’s FLF (Freaks, Luvvies and Fools) wine writer competition last week.
“Writers entering articles for consideration for the short-form prize should submit 6-8 pieces of between 1000 and 1500 words each, written for a column or a blog. Entries for the long-form prize should be between 3000 and 4000 words, and can either be unpublished, or published between 1 March 2013 and 28 February 2014.” There was an embarrassing re-scoping two days later leading to a re-release
“After receiving feedback from a number of people regarding the word count requirements for each of the two categories, the organisers have amended these to the following: Short form: Up to 1000 words; Long form: 1000-4000 words.“
But of course the real problem for the organizers is that they don’t define what a wine writer is. Seems to be anyone who lives in SA and who can write in any one of the 11 official languages. Publication is not a requirement. No wonder Johann Rupert is not interested in print media in SA after being asked to start a new publication by a former editor of defunct Wine magazine:
So rather than a call to boycott the FLF fiasco after the re-appointment of shock-jock and serial hater John Maytham as judge after he royally stuffed up the competition this year, a tsunami of entries should be encouraged from all those lonely hearts and stalkers who fix on wine as a remedy for their social inadequacy issues.
I’m putting my money on whale cottage who produces a minimum of 4000 pieces of flotsam and jetsam a day in an attempt to divert the attention of Google away from customer complaints about his guest houses on the interwebs. Perhaps he will use the R12,500 first prize (way less than half the Du Totiskloof/Standard Bank prize and less even than the Veritas Young Winewriters Prize) to pay a plumber to remove the forests of pubic hair which clog his showers.
Is this really the amateurish freak show a brand like Porcupine Ridge wants to associate itself with?