Classy Xmas Stocking Fillers #1: A Riedel Penis-Beaker

Neil Pendock December 21, 2013 0

We can but speculate when Georg Riedel will come up with a penis-beaker in banana, circumcised and uncut models. Georg has made a fortune for himself and local agent the Wine Lizard from stemware with special shapes to amplify wine flavours on a per-cultivar basis so with penis-beakers all the rage on Mumsnet, it is surely only a matter of time before bespoke beakers are offered on the Lizard’s site, along with wine offers specially rated for the site. With soccer moms taking over wine recommendations in dead tree-media, Georg will be mad to let this opportunity slip away. It’s hygenic, too.


As the Independent reports “user ‘Sara Crewe’ nearly broke the site’s servers when she asked: ‘Do you dunk your penis?’ She explained: ‘We have a dedicated post-sex clean-up area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me. Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing.’ You think?! Cue viral notoriety for Crewe and her husband’s penis, much of it circulated under the inevitable #penisbeaker hashtag. Later, Crewe revealed she had been compelled to share her beaker habit only when a friend of her husband’s was about ‘to make squash’ in it. She told him, and then the world. ‘I’ve used it as my pee beaker too,’ she added.”


Great for Sauvignon Blanc, then. A varietal the Lizard thinks he knows a lot about.

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